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Saturday, 28 May 2011

together


(not at the same time, though…)

Now, when I’m connect to lots of parents and their children, I’m learning more about them - many new information, realities… In the same way, I’ve been wondering myself which way is the best one for their creation.

People tend to regard that it would be ideal if the couple would be married or living under the same roof. However, the new and more usual concept of family have changed since more divorces have happened.

Between the adults, remain confused sons and daughters. From their point of view, of course, they’d prefer a normal family - with mum and dad in an as lovely as good relationship. In fact, everybody would, once nobody got married not to last.

Unfortunately, it has often happened in Brazil, or rather: in the whole world! Thus, all parts have to set an agreement about the best solution related to children, to give them welfare and comfort.

This is not to say that they obligatory should stay with the mother, especially when fathers are so participative and interested. In these cases it is better to divide all responsibilities, despite of exclusively the financial ones.

In other words, the joint custody seems to me a positive way to lead the separations which children are involved. The matter is that mothers simply tend to don’t accept the fact that some fathers are able to create children too - with or without women.

We can’t put any blame on them due to decades of men’s negligence about their children’s lives. As a consequence of this common men’s behaviour, they have held the reins of the situation alone until now.

So they keep believing men are not supposed to stay with their children, even with some ex husbands trying to be more present and useful than most part of other ones. Usually they see their progenies only once in fifteen days - not enough… indeed.

I suppose this kind of women’s selfishness related with the kids is somewhat sexist. I’m convinced that if mothers could leave (a little) aside (at least) the maternal role, they would be happier once they would use this free time as so to be play more as a female, to take care of themselves.

In extreme cases ex wives inclusively boycott men saying for their offspring that they don’t care about children, while they do. By the way, paternal alienation is a crime against men (but doubtless, it is even worst for children!). Though, it is a subject for another post…

To sum up, I just discovered another familiar structure I see as not only fairer but also effective for everyone.

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passatempo

  • abrace seus amigos
  • acredite em si mesmo
  • ande mais com os pés descalços
  • antene-se
  • aplique o que você prega
  • assuma seus erros
  • beba mais água
  • beije na boca com vontade
  • conheça novas culturas
  • cuide-se com carinho
  • dance sem vergonha
  • diga mais 'sim' do que 'não'
  • durma bem
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  • entregue-se ao que ama
  • escreva cartas à mão
  • estude outras línguas
  • exerça a tolerância
  • exercite-se
  • fale e ouça mais 'obrigado'
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  • ouça musicas que te façam dançar
  • ouse
  • pense positivamente
  • permita-se
  • peça bis quando é bom
  • pratique o bem
  • prove diferentes sabores
  • renove-se
  • respeite a natureza e os mais velhos
  • reveja velhos conceitos
  • se beber, não ligue!
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  • siga a sua intuição
  • sinta o novo
  • sorria sempre que possível
  • subverta vez que outra
  • tenha calma
  • tire alguém para dançar
  • trabalhe com dedicação
  • use camisinha
  • vá mais ao cinema
  • viaje sempre
  • viva menos virtualmente

c'est fini!