decisive moment

By now, at the limbo part, 

between the worst which already passed and the best that will still come, 

I just keep going on.

Surmounting, step by step, arriving where I want.

 

la tentative

La mienne.

J'essaye fort fort. Je le jure.
 
Toutefois, c'est pas facile.

Petit à petit, je me perds en le perdant. 

En fait: il me perd.

everything is possible

Nothing could be stronger than our dreams.

We must attempt. It's never too late to start life over, differently, in a good  way.

Hey ho, let's go! I believe, and help you.

(what about you?!)

___________________________________________________________ 

Any effort, every little step is very important to reach anything we want. However, it will always have temptations on the way - (bad) past things that are supposed to remain there... away.

How unbeatalbe will us let them be as to disturb and hinder us to achieve it? Will them trip us, deviating us completely from our goals?

We can NOT forget we are not alone. People can help, strengthen together our foible.  

We must be patients, married. Love is crucial, reinforce. 

Everything counts. Nevertheless, it's always a personal decision. 

It's all about choices, (good)will(power).

bad luck?

No, the good one - please!

It’s said that August is the month of misfortune…  I hope that, living a second summer during this period (along with so much novelty…), this prediction isn’t real.

Nothing better than good vibrations to smooth away the difficulties (in colloquial Portuguese we use the slang 'uruca' (derivative from the word 'urucubaca').

time to say goodbye

It’s a difficult simple act, mainly when is destined to who we love. On the other hand, it is necessary... This special moment is awaited by everybody, although no one wants to do that indeed.

Which is the best way to behave (while demosntrating you'll miss them)? I hope my family don’t think I’m insensible only because I don’t feel myself comfortable at that moment.

I try to contain my tears not to show them my emotion, all my weakness in not to be able to shed tears with no problem. In fact, it is a matter of not to know how to say ‘I love you’ easily.

Lastly, a simple ‘goodbye’ came timidly. After turned on the heel, though, I burst into them… working its pump. (No, I’m not so cold as I seem…)

From now, it's better for me to prepare myself to do it more often - crying or not.

bye bye

It's time to get in touch with things we always used to dream about (or we only used to care about - actually, doesn't matter... both verses of Tecnicolor mean I did everything wrong when I "accapted" abaseing myself for him.

Finally, it's enough! Even still interested, I can say 'no' and go out, leaving him in his reality (which I confess I haven't understood yet - and I won't, though...). I reckon it is easier when you have another measure to compair and verify how stupid you have been being giving credit to someone who simply doesn't deserve it/you!  

If I (still) love him? Of course not...! First of all, I love myself. It's quite good to say that "cured".

Thus, finally, it's time to say goodbye. Or rather: au revoir!

abacaxi

(in English something as a ‘nut’!)

I’ve always thought if I had worked with sex, which is both a hard and heavy issue to deal with, everything that comes after that it would be easier… However, nowadays, when I’ve been looked for children I figure out that adults are so complicated!    

calling a spade a spade

Doubtless nothing bothers me more than people's fear in saying the truth. I really don't understand how answer mere words as 'yes' or 'no' can be too difficult. I can't stand co much cowardice!

Being sincere - they should take this attitude up into their lives. Thus, making things easy... After all, life is simple. We make it complicated, though.

However, this is not to say that some care is dispensable in the way through any information is given. Especially when it means something important, which can change routes, feelings etc, a little tact, prudence and diplomacy are essential, of course.

Even so, I definitely prefer to cry due to plain facts than laugh with lies... For me, it is the best way - always.

home truth

Taking this example, even the militaries could finally bring out from the depths of the past their (state) secrets about that dark dictatorship period in Latin America. It is sincerely awaited the moment when they’ll finally tell (loud and clear - why not?) to the world what was done with some militant people who are vanished until now. 

Lastly (almost 50 years after it has begun; 26, of its end), it is just in time to law all the past ghosts. Or rather: finally.

Better late than never. After all, the later the worse.

overtopping

Our lives are composed by phases… In which one are you?

I’m enough of everything that is not making me a better person, all those facts which simply don’t bring me happiness nor satisfaction, just happen... without an essential reason that conduce me to farther on I can imagine since limited by mundane facts, nonsense.

As long as adrift, move out is necessary (as move on...), don't "simply" giving up, letting ourselves wherever it go without any motivation. I reckon that Liz had been at the same period by she decided to go into an introspective journey - looking for herself, her life's purpose. Alternatively, mine is professional.

I'm referring to ‘Eat, Pray Love’, a beautiful story of a woman who tried to go farther on and succeeded! (*For men, it wont work… the not only verbs but the (rational) intentions are other for them! Nevertheless,) The movie is quite nice and, thus, I'm planning to read the book soon - It always says that on the screen is never so intense as its written lines… I guess (and hope so!).

sharply curved

In the long run, nobody said that living would be easy as simple!

However I know that every small step is an interesting experience to learn with. Thus, it's important keep walking until arrive wherever you want, making hay while the sun shines... namely, making the most of the opportunity.

God moves in a misterious way. Therefore, I believe that all misses are a blessing in disguise. So… Hey, ho, let's go!

pretty beach, but low profile

(in reason of nobody knows who she truthfully was - not even her real name!)

In fact, she used to be high profile (because has been famous). However, her face can’t be seen on TV anymore… If she is still on men’s mind, I think so! - after all, television is a (false and faked) fantasy that doesn’t show the dark side of reality - her nonsense and slovenliness.

After a painful surprise against me, I'm sure she is bearing the chances of her (ill) fortune - now, taking care of people's head (in the exact meaning of the expression). So, limited like that, she doesn't convince altogether as before(!).

*I don’t know (more) nor do I care…

da onça

(actually, they are birds of a feather!)

How much evil could affect somebody? Envy is, without doubt, one of the worst feelings that someone can experience - mainly when is from someone who SHOULD wish our happiness, and doesn't take us as an "adversary".

Unfortunate is who tastes its own medicine. Selfish, remaines grieved - and, as a result, stays (always) behind, worried about others’ happiness (or trying to hamper it).

 

With me, in vain… In fact, this act just strengthen me!

An indubitable reminder: the evil that men do lives after them.

wearing of the green

(the hope color)

Lá Fhéile Pádraig - finally a good news (and energy!) against the "descarrego" session above...

Today is Saint Patrick’s Day, an important holiday mainly in Ireland. So, I’m going to drink some beer to celebrate!

My faith is more powerful than all these stumbling blocks. I’m not going to became worn away, just go ahead and leave all these ill things behind (me).

What will be will be! - with or without backing.

moments

It says that at 6pm is the angels' time. So, I’m always trying to pay attention in everything which happens exactly at this rush hour.

Often (unfortunately) some problems suddenly emerge in the end of the working hours not only to keep us until later at office, but to proof our capacity to solve it, mastering the difficulties and, finally, have this corner turned.

On the other hand, it is the perfect occasion to receive some call and invitation. It is almost night and the deadline to do something special is not over yet.

A resolution opportunity... Give your good luck a chance!

lent

Started yesterday the time of changing. It is a 40 days period for everybody lead their lives to the best way. However, it doesn’t means merely do the right choices into a purification. It’s necessary to dedicate their lives entirely and understand its full reason - their vocation, incumbence and also their missionary’s field of action.

I recognize both my responsabilities and the essential effort to achieve my goals. Thus, my future is being defined right now. Although everything has happened to frustrate my plans, all my losses, I wish nobody ill… only justice(!), and health - for me, to take all I owned back (actually, even more… new captures!).

Nothing is by chance. Let’s go ahead and wait for…

nobody said that would be easy

Ok, but I don’t understand why the process is SO difficult... Sometimes, seems that it isn’t up to me my own future. Such is life.

I want only one thing and I wonder if is impossible OR just if it isn’t for me. Maybe now, and this is a "simple" way to notify me. Happens...  or not. I wish so, though. 

If it wont be now, I'll get it after - sooner or later. Everything will come out right in the end. God's will be done. Bless me!

já vai tarde!

Maria Fernanda, uma grande amiga minha, já me disse algumas vezes (para eu NUNCA mais esquecer), que, às vezes, temos que dar graças a Deus por certas coisas que ele NÃO nos dá. Penso nisso direto (tanto, que a mula já mugiu a respeito outras vezes).

Por mais que queiramos algo, que o desejo seja forte, talvez não seja para acontecer, para ser “nosso” o que almejamos. O porquê saberemos depois, com o tempo – ele, que responde a maior parte de nossas perguntas na hora certa.

Houve cortes na minha vida este ano que passou: trabalho, amor, amizade, saúde, paz. Alguns eram previstos, outros previsíveis, mas teve os que eu não esperava e tampouco pretendia  ter. Analisando, mal tive escolha ou decidi sobre os fatos. 

Por que? – esse foi um questionamento recorrente e intenso em alguns momentos. A falta de um esclarecimento me levou pra baixo, fez-me desanimar, enfraquecendo-me. A possibilidade dar mais errado, assustava-me, mas "Já passou!", penso eu, aliviada.

Apesar de difícil, denso e pesado, não posso só reclamar de 2010. Tive Oportunidades marcantes, que, inevitavelmente, fizeram-me refletir sobre quem sou, o que busco, aonde vou e quero chegar.

Minha força foi medida nesse período; minha capacidade e limites, testados. E estou agora aqui, erguida, vendo um novo ciclo começar (e não ponho aqui o ‘re’ antes do verbo porque 2011 será diferente!).

Esse é o lado bom: a experiência que fica. Para tudo o que vier daqui por diante,  estarei preparada!  E não mudei totalmente ainda, o melhor ficou para “depois” (cenas dos próximos capítulos nos 364 dias a seguir). Aguardem.

topada

Momento de reflexão.

Depois de alguns tropeços, obstáculos, dificuldades, vírgulas, quedas... (2010 não foi nada fácil), admito meus erros. Fraqueza - o motivo de meu insucesso nesses momentos.

Não estou, assim, martirizando-me, ou mesmo culpando pelo ocorrido. Levarei isso de lição para me empenhar mais na busca do que almejo de verdade.

Erguida, topo o desafio, rumo acima. Tudo tem seu tempo.

superhero

 
As previsões se concretizaram e, Barack Obama, que está com sua popularidade em baixa, levou uma “surra” nas eleições legislativas norte-americanas, realizadas ontem, no meio de seu mandato. Os democratas perderam a maioria na Câmara e a força no Senado.

A insatisfação que paira sobre a megapotência mundial fortaleceu o partido Republicano, apoiado na dificuldade do presidente em sair rapidamente dos efeitos da crise que arrasou com o país imperialista em 2008, resolver a questão da economia empacada, com o dólar desvalorizado, e ainda o índice de desemprego, que já beira os 10%. Os eleitores que depositaram na figura de Obama toda a esperança de mudanças e melhoras urgentes, não estão sabendo lidar e se mostram extremamente desgostosos com o processo lento de recuperação dos Estados Unidos.

Essa foi uma derrota significativa que serviu de alerta para que o homem mais poderoso do mundo mude o rumo de seu governo, principalmente no que se refere às prioridades. Agradar à opinião pública e, agora, aos opositores também, tentando certa cooperação em que eles aprovem e não atravanquem os projetos propostos por ele, será o maior desafio do líder democrata.

No entanto, a História está a seu favor. Da mesma forma ocorreu com George Clinton e Ronald Reagan, esse último enfrentando na época taxas de desemprego bem semelhantes às atuais. Ambos conseguiram a reeleição dois anos depois, superando os problemas enfrentados. Vou além: por mais que os yankees reclamem do governo de Obama, e isso tenha se refletido no resultado desse pleito, ele, ainda sim, já é um vitorioso, mesmo antes de qualquer aposta para mais quatro anos no poder.

Em apenas 24 meses, ele conseguiu aprovar uma reforma histórica no sistema de saúde, algo fracassado por antecessores, além de ter feito uma no sistema financeiro, com pacotes de estímulos econômicos, bem como ter progredido nas negociações para diminuição de emissão de gases aceleradores do Aquecimento Global. Infelizmente, pelo menos dois desses avanços correm o risco de um recuo em detrimento ao conservadorismo que aponta essas como iniciativas 'socialistas' por parte dele (não é piada... sim: SOCIALISTAS - acreditem!).

A onda extremamente conservadora que ganha força por lá, ela sim, é preocupante. Trata-se de um retrocesso daquilo que já avançou justamente contra essa maré. É um dilema seu papel agora, pois ou eles colaboram, ou se opoem às medidas sustentáveis previstas, arriscando, assim, seu sucesso na próxima votação presidencial, em 2012. Todo mundo sabia que não iria ser um mar de rosas os primeiros anos de desafogamento estadunidense, mas ser acimentado por uma direita xiita, cujo discurso por vezes soa absurdo na contramão do trabalho que vem sendo realizado, abala as estruturas e mexe com os brios de qualquer mortal.

Embora tenha sido visto como um espécie de herói quando assumiu a bronca há dois anos, fazer mágica foi impossível àquela altura, e ainda hoje é... Mas, AGORA, ele vai ter que usar todos os seus superpoderes, qualquer truque que tire da cartola soluções imediatistas, para não deixar a peteca (a moeda e sua popularidade) cair ainda mais. Otimista, eu acho que ele vai conseguir ressurgir das cinzas e sair do vermelho. Basta saber o que ele vai fazer na tentativa de deixar tudo azul... Só espero que não regrida demais, tampouco deixe o resto do mundo roxo de raiva com as atitudes tomadas para salvá-los.

E para finalizar, utilizo-me aqui do jargão de sua campanha,vencedor e invencível... é o que resta: Hope.

sola

A diferença da língua, a facilidade em desfocar, a barreira cultural evidenciada em cada gesto e pensamento... na frieza de ser, diferente do nosso calor humano. Isso, por si só, já explicaria a singularidade de meus dias, sola in Amsterdam. Não entendo (e até admiro, surpresa), como conseguem, ser assim, tão diretos, e, na independência de se “achar”, não se perder...

Um chute no estômago de quem vive de oba oba. Aqui, o buraco é mais embaixo...(!) do nível do mar.

No, I know that isn't easy, is difficult be here. But I like it, and I've been trying.

por aí

Esse é o lema, mas o contexto bem que poderia ser diferente: mais trabalho, menos lazer.

Até lá, seguirei pastando rumo ao ideal – seja nos pampas gaúchos ou nos campos holandeses (de onde vim, para onde vou). 

Boa viagem!