good luck

Do you believe in that story of finding a suitcase full of money (on the street, for example)? 

Well, I DO! I believe I found one.

However, when it seemed happen, I avow I doubted. I always think that this kind of thing is a TV prank, or a kids trick. After all, I didn't looked for that.. not even played the lottery or went until the end of the rainbow to find a pot of gold... It came so gratuitous... Finally, I didn't take it.
 
In Brazil we often say that "quando a esmola é demais, o santo desconfia" (translating... when it's a great alm, the saint suspects), in the same meaning of the proverb: It's too good to be true. Because, truly: IT IS!

It would be perfect: just on my birthday. What a gift! What a blessing! A boon in life. Probably, it will give us the opportunity of a (nice) honey moon, that we haven't had yet.

Anyway, there's something else for me to be defensive about that...while living abroad, I simply fear the fact of taking (someone else's) dollars, which DO NOT belong to me, could harm me. Seriously!

It was not dullness, but caution. Prudence. Unfortunately, it wasn't THE time. Not mine. 

(Althoug it's said that a lightning never strikes twice in the same place...) I beg: Please, good lucky, don't give up on me! Try it again, later. Maybe something I'm aware I deserve it.

time to say goodbye

It’s a difficult simple act, mainly when is destined to who we love. On the other hand, it is necessary... This special moment is awaited by everybody, although no one wants to do that indeed.

Which is the best way to behave (while demosntrating you'll miss them)? I hope my family don’t think I’m insensible only because I don’t feel myself comfortable at that moment.

I try to contain my tears not to show them my emotion, all my weakness in not to be able to shed tears with no problem. In fact, it is a matter of not to know how to say ‘I love you’ easily.

Lastly, a simple ‘goodbye’ came timidly. After turned on the heel, though, I burst into them… working its pump. (No, I’m not so cold as I seem…)

From now, it's better for me to prepare myself to do it more often - crying or not.

bye bye

It's time to get in touch with things we always used to dream about (or we only used to care about - actually, doesn't matter... both verses of Tecnicolor mean I did everything wrong when I "accapted" abaseing myself for him.

Finally, it's enough! Even still interested, I can say 'no' and go out, leaving him in his reality (which I confess I haven't understood yet - and I won't, though...). I reckon it is easier when you have another measure to compair and verify how stupid you have been being giving credit to someone who simply doesn't deserve it/you!  

If I (still) love him? Of course not...! First of all, I love myself. It's quite good to say that "cured".

Thus, finally, it's time to say goodbye. Or rather: au revoir!

merci (or à mercê?)

Well, doesn’t matter! I prefer to do the right thing.    

I’m like that: clear, transparent - couldn’t be different. I always prefer do EVERYTHING in the best way for everyone, the fairer… Sometimes, it’s not good for me, though. I’ve been suffering the consequences of choosing this truthful way. 

I hope this time can be the opposite (It is not possible that I will NEVER be rewarded for my correct acts…!).

Sometimes I wonder myself about that... Whether I am or not in the best way - for me, not for others. I am thinking over again to be more introspective, to listening more than talk. Many simply don't deserve to know the truth. They are not thanked (and prepared) for it.

worthless

(or maybe halfpenny... whatever!)

Of course EVERYTHING in this cruel life has yours worth... Although, sometimes a lot of it are “simply” (and unfortunally) forgoten, missed. I've been wondering myself why (happens in this way), but the response aren't so clear, easy to understand and consenting.

Farther on, the main point to analyse is the magnitude of our value. How much considerable people are for other ones? Are they giving us the real importance we deserve?

I was worried until realized that I don’t deserve THIS valuation by who doesn‘t care about me, my life, my dreams and soul. By the way... WHO are they to judge or determinate something about me or anybody else? (or THINK they are...?)

It isn’t so rare think about that... Probably, when I’ll have done something interesting for them, they’ll ponder their concepts - too late, but they‘ll!

Who has been forgoten, doesn’t forget.

menina má

A dúvida que não me sai da cabeça: não fui eu uma boa menina para ter ganhado as  pancadas que levei da vida em 2010? Vou além, questionando-me o que poderia ter feito eu de errado o ano inteiro (ou antes até, desde 2009) para acontecer isso comigo.

Ou será que foi falta de sorte e eu NÃO merecia tanto? – segundo minha cartomante, infelizmente a resposta para esta última pergunta é ‘sim’. Foi “gratuito”, azar. Mas, vendo pelo lado positivo (sempre tem um, mesmo que só tempos depois compreendamos o sentido do ocorrido), fortaleceu-me – e talvez o motivo seja justamente esse... Tudo tem uma razão nessa vida.

Só não sei dizer, se tivesse que responder ao Papai Noel, se estaria pronta para outra. Fiquei traumatizada, não nego. Tamanha intensidade e sensibilidade me fizeram reavaliar MUITA coisa e, consequentemente, mudar bastante. Agora, se ele quisesse saber se me comportei direitinho, eu admitiria que, quando boa, eu sou ótima; mas quando eu sou má, eu sou melhor ainda! Sem ressentimentos.

Ho Ho Ho! Que venha 2011. Aliás, qual será meu presente?

o guardião

Ele tem as chaves do céu, abre as portas... É com ele mesmo que tinha que me encontrar hoje - na verdade, já faz tempo!

Justiça seja feita, São Pedro. Não quero nada que não me pertença. Guarde o que é meu, para quando for a hora eu receber (com juros).

Orações feitas, peito aberto e protegido.

tem pra todo mundo

Conhecem a máxima: “Pode encher a sua piscina, mas não esvazia a minha bacia”? Pois é justamente assim que as pessoas DEVERIAM fazer, agir e ser – porque se trata de um posicionamento moral, inclusive.

Inveja e má fé é péssimo. Buscar a sua felicidade sem ficar urubuzando a vida alheia é o caminho do bem. Quem muito se preocupa com o outro, administra mal seus negócios. Então, que tal focar em seu próprio umbigo (ou rabo)? – é melhor para todo mundo.

O futuro está aí com suas oportunidades. Cada um tem e terá o que merece. É só fazer por onde, conduzir com sabedoria o barco da vida. Uns rebolam, alguns rezam, outros remam. Essa última é a minha filosofia. E a frase acima é de comunidade. Salve Gabriel Moura, Jovi Joviniano e Aranha, pela voz de Seu Jorge!