the truth, the best choice

Always, even if it hurts... 

It's better crying due to reality than pretend everything is fine. By the way: 

Yes, one wil be constantly supporting the other in a couple - more than anybody else! 

No, who really loves won't be the one making the partner laugh with lies (just to be cooool...) 

Consciously, no one has any doubt about that.

that's all for now

vida que segue...

Aniversário  do Rio! 
(saudade dele e dos meus...)

Alegrias e decepções da vida. 
Medo, dúvida, dor...

Amor, fé, esperança. Outro recomeço.

Inspiração pra escrever. Desabafo...

good luck

Do you believe in that story of finding a suitcase full of money (on the street, for example)? 

Well, I DO! I believe I found one.

However, when it seemed happen, I avow I doubted. I always think that this kind of thing is a TV prank, or a kids trick. After all, I didn't looked for that.. not even played the lottery or went until the end of the rainbow to find a pot of gold... It came so gratuitous... Finally, I didn't take it.
 
In Brazil we often say that "quando a esmola é demais, o santo desconfia" (translating... when it's a great alm, the saint suspects), in the same meaning of the proverb: It's too good to be true. Because, truly: IT IS!

It would be perfect: just on my birthday. What a gift! What a blessing! A boon in life. Probably, it will give us the opportunity of a (nice) honey moon, that we haven't had yet.

Anyway, there's something else for me to be defensive about that...while living abroad, I simply fear the fact of taking (someone else's) dollars, which DO NOT belong to me, could harm me. Seriously!

It was not dullness, but caution. Prudence. Unfortunately, it wasn't THE time. Not mine. 

(Althoug it's said that a lightning never strikes twice in the same place...) I beg: Please, good lucky, don't give up on me! Try it again, later. Maybe something I'm aware I deserve it.

just waiting...

Between lies and love,
deception, surrender, regret,
improvement, relapses, prosperity,
doubts, choices, dreams and hope.
Songs, books, movies and records.
French, English and Portuguese.
Home and libraries.
Past, present and future.
Feelings and reality.
Family and friends,
me and him.

sacrement!

1.1 km
880 pas
13 minutes 

sans regarder en arrière.

Loin, distant... 

... toute seule?

Des rêves échoués. 
___________________________________________________________

tight

Take my hand and I will follow you, wherever! Forever.

Sometimes, we just need this: being together. Closer.

Other, only a tender look can prove that by itself... Little acts of kindness. 

Everyone has his own way to demonstrate affection, which varies across different cultures. It's solely important that love doesn't ever be put aside, let behind. Never.

not to overlook

Europe situation is not good. Not at all! After Greece, now, it's the time of Spain population manifesting againt government austerity. On the top of that, they are doing it very well!

Media has noticed many anti-cuts protests. I like that... People carrying out their role (maybe the most relevant of all as a nation): citizenship.

That's something Brazilians should learn: how to complain their rights, after accomplish all obligations while society. After all, there are issues more fundamental then soccer or carnival.

___________________________________________________________

 partisans

I simply dont't know how, or why, but the fact is that my blog has many views in Russia. Yes: in RUSSIA. More than the double of other countries... Wow! What a surprise!

Firstly, I don't know people from there, except for an ex collegue of French classes in Dawson College. I doubt, though, he is checking it more than once a day... Anyway, alone, it's not enough.

Then, I start to suppose they are probably interested in my contend, once I'm not really a USA friend, and, in the same way, I'm a red sympathizer. Nevertheless, I frankly think it's not the case... not nowadays. Not anymore. Moreover, I'm not categorically important, as a mere blogger of particular ideas I am.

Lastly, apart from the fact that I haven't posted anithing about the recent episode of Pussy Riot imprisonment, or even about Putin - cases of corruption, protests, elections, uncertainty of his current mandate etc., I didn't do much effort to be in contact with this target... So, I sincerely have some reservations about. Well, some kind of anarchism might is on the air... Why not?!  (Incidentally, I repent this fault. Sorry for this omission.)

On the other hand, I understand the reasons of Brazil, Canada and even Germany and South Korea being in the list alike.

___________________________________________________________ 

aging

Among many events, I own up about my worries... Maybe they are accelerating hair graying on me.

Whereas I turned 30 years old, I found some white long whiskers hidden on back of my head. Though, they weren't there before!

No, it is not a old wives' tale... It's stress!

like a Cheshire Cat

...which appears and disappears in memories.

In spite of its supposed (snide) grin, I don't get amused when it comes, not at all! Many praises...

I wonder myself how important can be a pet in our lives, reaching a point of being irreplaceable.

Can it bring up old feelings with him? Or even worse: may other people be tied to?

Well, until arrive another one, it will be always shrouded in mystery all this affection.

___________________________________________________________ 

it is almost that

In Brazil, by virtue of 'Simpatia é Quase Amor' (a lively Carnival group of Rio), among other iffy situations, we believe that sympathy is almost love...

Well, I have my suspicions. 

madly I do

Wondering myself about love notes of the past, I forget that the most important one came verbally, to me(!).

Incomparable, unrivaled, unsurpassed declaration of love... Silly, (married!) girl.

marching

Although I' haven't totally understood yet their cause, I'm convinced that Zombie Walk is an interesting movement. 

(Maybe also influenced by Occupy Montreal) Many people went downtown yesterday. They attended the parade with weird costumes and so much make-up. Big style!

Cool! (or « bizarre! »)

baby phase

Well, ten years ago were the graduation ceremonies and memorable parties the major reason to celebrate; nowadays, alternatively, has occurred a baby boom in my friends circle - fact which deserves sublime happiness. On the other hand, it worries me.

Of course in our (early) twenties, many of us (began to have or) had children. However, nowadays, in (almost) thirties (or a little more yet), that situation makes me wonder myself if I’m delayed  about that, or, rather: if it will happen to me - and when.

Time runs… Some ‘nephews’ (sons of my generation people) are turning 10 this year! Many closer friends already have two kids inclusively! Other have been pregnant or have given birth recently... I reckon it hasn’t been the best time to live that - and I would regret if I had already had one, I admit.

Looking through the biological point of view, within the next years I must decide if I want to form a family, or not. Then, it will be my turn to become mother… and I hope that with a good husband by my side to take care of me and my offspring (after all, storks only bring us the babies, don't make them!).

hands tied(?)

It’s wonderful when something you have expected for a long time finally happens, even more if you go all out! At this moment, you simply don’t know what exactly it means, though. Why?

Something changed at this meantime: new plans are in your mind; other feelings in your heart. Perhaps it was not the exact time to occurs…

However, if it didn’t happen before, it has a reason, although we don’t know that - or it is hard to believe. Actually, it was meant to be.

Probably, something better is coming… or, you are NOW, ready for it - able to enjoy it entirely as you couldn’t when you tried earlier.

Use your time well so as to give you enough experience to learn how to deal with any situation. Furthermore, nothing is better to be prepared to face challenges with no fear.

If destiny is in our hands…? I can’t answer that. I just know that life give us some skills to drive it in a greater way after take some advices before - even being patience to wait for the right time arrive.

in destiny's hands

Some predictions have already been determined. Doesn't matter whatever we could do, our designment is already written in the stars, it was previously decided.

So, my destiny is not in my hands(?) - I’ve wondered about that for a long time, everyday - each one in a different way. However, my main doubt is: Should I stay or should I go?

This answer depends exclusively on me? Well, thus, I guess I know… with some kind of planets tips, for sure.

finally dead - who believes?

It was said today by Obama in his public televised speech at this dawn (in Brazil). However, as Thomas, the Apostle, I'll believe it only when I see it - pictures of the corpse in this case.

With a delay of 10 years to find him after the 11th September 2001 attacks, in addition of two wars begun using the excuse of being in name of the peace (ALSO! - because  pacifist aim was not the main reason since there is much petroil in many strategic places, of course!)… All this shit of hunt for Osama Bin Laden resulted in:

- 2.996 deaths (including the 19 hijackers and 2977 victims) in Twin Towers fall;

more...

- 919.967 murders in both Afghanistan and Iraq since their occupations in 2001 and 2003, respectively;

Obviously, these last facts haven’t been free of costs. By the way, the amount already paid until now by USA for army expenses have been something around US$ 1.188.263.000.000 - nunbers said by Chris Douglas-Roberts, a NBA basketball player, while was complaining about USA citizens celebrations of Osama's demise.

I suppose that Al Qaeda support money for any “terrorist” attack (as it is common called by USA and their allies, but clearly not the North American offensives…) haven’t reach so high peaks. Furthermore, their deadliest power is not so effective, then.

Lastly, and with no doubt, I can say that Osama is a myth. During a decade he left scot-free as a thorn in USA and their allies’ side. I got to believe that indeed he simply doesn't exist... that he was a caracther created as a 'Santa Claus' of the evil. Weighed against this the fact he is a martyr for many Islamic peoples. He is a kind of hero who fought until his last breath against the enemy.

Thus, I explain the inverted commas used above on TERRORIST word. After all, this is just a point of view. Not a mere, though. Unfortunately, our media uses yankee lens, focused against other objectives opposite to them. Nevertheless, they oddly threw the Al Qaeda leader body into the sea - saying that it was done to respect the Muslim traditions! - Since when they have started to do it? From now?

Alternatively, Obama is kinder and more tender than Bush (Further, now he has not only this merit but a quite good argument to improve his popularity and try a re-election). Albeit the present United States President is attending right now the stratum more extreme and conservative of their population… On the contrary of Osama, who has a similar name, while was representing the same kind of people that follow, respect and still believe in him.

So, it is exactly when the dangerous is more fatal: what are they going to do as a retaliation? More than anyone (Saddam included!), Bin Laden is even more perilous dead than alive. Let’s wait to see his afterlife influence… I sincerely hope to watch it only on television.

nobody said that would be easy

Ok, but I don’t understand why the process is SO difficult... Sometimes, seems that it isn’t up to me my own future. Such is life.

I want only one thing and I wonder if is impossible OR just if it isn’t for me. Maybe now, and this is a "simple" way to notify me. Happens...  or not. I wish so, though. 

If it wont be now, I'll get it after - sooner or later. Everything will come out right in the end. God's will be done. Bless me!

menina má

A dúvida que não me sai da cabeça: não fui eu uma boa menina para ter ganhado as  pancadas que levei da vida em 2010? Vou além, questionando-me o que poderia ter feito eu de errado o ano inteiro (ou antes até, desde 2009) para acontecer isso comigo.

Ou será que foi falta de sorte e eu NÃO merecia tanto? – segundo minha cartomante, infelizmente a resposta para esta última pergunta é ‘sim’. Foi “gratuito”, azar. Mas, vendo pelo lado positivo (sempre tem um, mesmo que só tempos depois compreendamos o sentido do ocorrido), fortaleceu-me – e talvez o motivo seja justamente esse... Tudo tem uma razão nessa vida.

Só não sei dizer, se tivesse que responder ao Papai Noel, se estaria pronta para outra. Fiquei traumatizada, não nego. Tamanha intensidade e sensibilidade me fizeram reavaliar MUITA coisa e, consequentemente, mudar bastante. Agora, se ele quisesse saber se me comportei direitinho, eu admitiria que, quando boa, eu sou ótima; mas quando eu sou má, eu sou melhor ainda! Sem ressentimentos.

Ho Ho Ho! Que venha 2011. Aliás, qual será meu presente?

so f*#% what?

A gente tenta... A mulherada anda realmente se esforçando para decifrar os sinais e tentar descobrir o que, afinal, querem os homens. André, personagem de Michel Melamed na minissérie global, que me desculpe, mas me parece que, hoje em dia, estamos nós mais encucadas com as intenções masculinas que o contrário.

Parece que os homens estão meio perdidos, sem saber que rumo tomar, o que fazer para chegarem a qualquer lugar que seja. Bom, mas 'mulher' creio ser algo que jamais vão deixar de desejar... agora, para granjeá-las, de fato, anda faltando galanteio no approach, manutenção desse cortejo no ‘after’ – super importante para um algo mais.

Ou... talvez, eles não estejam nem aí mesmo.  Uma noite e nada mais basta. Afinal, é MUITO difícil conquistar uma única mulher diversas vezes, do que várias avulsas, sem compromisso. Mais fácil partir para outra a se dedicar a algo mais intenso, que vai lhes exigir bastante (provavelmente o suficiente para os fazer desistir antes mesmo de tentar).

Enfim, HAJA disposição para desvendar tanto mistério, compreender a mente desses seres que passam praticamente a vida inteira escondendo o que sentem em segredos guardados a sete chaves, atrás de jogos de sedução e desculpas esfarrapadas que os afastam de possibilidades - de repente até de quem gosta deles de verdade.

Tudo é uma questão de escolha. Insistir, desistir, arriscar, envolver-se, privar-se, entregar-se ou negar. As oportunidades estão aí. Dúvidas e vontades também. Mas eu torço para que as certezas ainda sejam maiores e unam as pessoas, pois ninguém merece viver sozinho, no vácuo, descrente, esperançoso por alguma chance ou mudança, por mais milagrosa que seja, para levar histórias a diante.

como ficamos?

Algumas prisões, muitas apreensões e dúvidas quanto ao destino das toneladas de drogas e centenas de armas achadas nas comunidades retomadas pelo Estado. SERÁ que estamos livres da possibilidade de (pelo menos parte) desse material ter sido extraviado - como tanto acontece nesse ciclo vicioso que envolve bandidos e indivíduos pertencentes a banda podre da polícia, corrupta e criminosa tal qual o “inimigo“.

A ação das polícias unidas, junto ao Exército, rendeu um bom resultado na mídia (graças ao seu próprio mérito em ter atrapalhado em seu ’ao vivo’ um êxito total, com um provável extermínio). Apesar de algumas denúncias de abuso da polícia, não houve retalhação por parte dos Direitos Humanos, nem por parte da sociedade - que acabou contribuindo bastante na entrega de marginais. No final das contas, pipocaram notícias positivas no mundo inteiro.

Mas... (como tudo nessa vida tem dois lados...) o que ficou deixando a desejar foi a dúvida (ainda pendente) da localização dos tantos criminosos não achados, tampouco detidos nesses dias de megaoperação intensiva contra o tráfico. Medo de um futuro retorno, próximo, novos ataques. Outra questão que preocupou milhares de pessoas foi a incineração de mais de R$ 100 milhões em narcóticos e entorpecentes nos fornos da Companhia Siderúrgica Nacional (CSN), em Volta Redonda, vizinha ao Rio.

Protestos nas redes sociais, uma caravana de rastafáris ao local, a curiosidade sobre efeitos na fumaça produzida, um sentimento de desperdício, o medo de uma superinflação dos “produtos” no mercado negro a curto prazo... O destino das drogas mobilizou ma parcela da população interessada no assunto. Infelizmente, nada pode ser feito a respeito, evitando que se levasse às cinzas o pó, as folhas. Nesse sentido, missão dada, missão cumprida - do jeito que Capitão Nascimento gosta.

why not?

Clichê: “É preciso amar as pessoas como se não houvesse amanhã, porque se você parar pra pensar, na verdade, não há”.

Renato Russo assim é, mas as pessoas ADORAM! Gostam de cantar suas letras, repetindo esses refrãos que as estimulam a seguir em frente, a agir. Agora, se o fazem, é questionável.

Por que deixamos passar algumas oportunidades? Por que não vencemos nossos medos e buscamos aquilo que, de fato, queremos. Medo de rejeição, timidez... (o que seja!) isso é realmente mais importante que sermos felizes?

Mais forte, às vezes, é. Impede-nos de avançarmos rumo àquilo que queremos. Mas me pergunto: se é nossa vontade, de verdade, por que não tentamos MESMO? Porque o desejo fica só na teoria? E, na prática, a frustração de não tentado.

Não falo por mim. Normalmente eu peco pela insistência. Vou até o final. Devo ser assim por me arrepender de alguma vírgula que resultou em reticências. Acabo por arriscar hoje em dia, até o final, enquanto houver motivação para tanto, dignidade e força.

Fui meses interessada num cara solteiro que, quando eu decidi me aproximar, começou a namorar outra. Azar? Não... Covardia - minha. Podia ter me antecipado, seguido meu coração antes, meus instintos. Teria dado certo, mas perdi a vez. Cheguei tarde demais.

De qualquer modo, prefiro a breve certeza de um não (ou de um sim) à dúvida eterna do talvez. Para finalizar, mais uma frase de impacto que não sai do lugar-comum: A vida é curta. O que vale é o presente ('presente'? opa! - risos...).

just kiss

Eles pedem, algumas mulheres acatam. Existem várias namoradas e esposas que nunca tiveram vontade de pegar outra mulher; só o fizeram (ou fazem) para agradar seus cônjuges, satisfazê-los.

Normal: não há o que excite mais um homem que duas mulheres juntas. Unanimidade. Mas, e sem ele?

Olhares, intenção, elogios, aproximação, gentileza, papo, mão na mão... curiosidade, sonho, vontade. Como saber? O beijo seria o mesmo, suponho. Talvez até melhor, mais delicado. Mais que isso, não consigo (me) imaginar. Nunca desejei transar com uma.