resolved

I DO NOT want this environment for my kids.

No, i'ts not funny, it's woeful!

Choices... I opt for life.

ou dá ou desce

a matter of form

I comprehend that for each one some life events happen at assorted moments, in different ways... And I respect that.

However, for me, in my own life, there is something that markedly please me: the fact that I got married before being pregnant.

I believe in love and I frankly accredit that people can assume their relationship insomuch about to officialize it whenever they want. Nevertheless, the idea of doing that just because of social formalities, to keep decorum, frustrates me.

In Rio, that occurs a lot! I went in some under these circumstances... Well, in Porto Alegre, though, most part of couples I know wont never have any ceremony celebrating their match. Unfortunately... Many men who don't assume their acts (even with a child), that "simply" don't care. Idiots!

Actually, no matters where... As far as I am concerned, why don't do that before, as a result of their will, only both of them, the couple, without any external intervention (ok, maybe 'internal'...)? By virtue of their love? Forming something more solid (like a family), not due the arrival of a baby, but whereas your affinity (that even may result in kids! Eventualy... soon... but later!).

It seems to me as a civil obligation, anyway. Not by free wil. Otherwise, why not make a ritual earlier, willingly, with no pregnancy?

I'm happy to have done that by us. For us, and thus accord with the natural order of things. As custom demands. Genuinely, not necessary; lovely, though ♥

by now

The only possible change is letting my hair grow.

For me. For love.

Probably, for the last time.

My choice, as a last sigh of youth. To end a long life stage.

It worths it. 

 

gorgeous silver

Once, I asked my mother why she had her hair dyed. Then, I suggested her to leave it natural, grey. Finally, she said to do that with my own hair, by myself, when graying start on me.

Not at that moment, but, now, I undertand her being on the defensive. It's a delicate situation for many women witnessing their hair lose colour; thus, being obligate to dye hair constantly. Many, in fact, the majority, opt for keeping their young hues artificially.

Alternatively, I honestly feel that ladies as Françoise Hardy, Carmen Dell’Orefice, Jamie Lee Curtis, Helen Mirren, Vanessa Redgrave, and last but not least, Meryl Streep (as Miranda Priestly, in The Devil Wears Prada), are glamorous in the way they are: both old and chic.

Their look, a choise, despite thousands of advertisings selling hair dye, as I see it, means a victory, an embrace of the natural changes, an acceptance of lifecycle. Without a doubt, it's an audacious one.

Furthermore, of course, having beautiful gray hair also requires special cares - expensive too! Olden with vanity, a challenge!

Mine, in a few years. Decided!

la déterminée

Moi aussi, j'ai décidé de ne plus être correcte.
___________________________________________________________
  
Pochoirs, j'aime ça! 

Ici, d'autres (bonnes) verités par l'art de Miss.Tic. 

*En temps d'élections, pour Miss.Tic présidente! 

mettre le cap au sud

Laisser faire, se faire laisser, ou laisser - lui, nous... la ville, le pays (la planète, si possible!)?

À chacun, son destin.

Pour le bonheur des autres, d'une façon ou d'une autre.

Moi, j'ai déjà choisi: le mien. Au revoir!

Ñe'ẽ

More than words... A tragedy in Brazil!

Firstly, it was the colonizers - Portugueses and Spanishs. Then, Catholic church. Later, farmers and cattlemen-landowners (well, leaseholders... inasmuch they took possession of wide territories which before belonged to Indians), passing for young bourgeois criminals who lit native people on fire alive (supposing be dealing with a indigent - honestly, a ridiculous excuse!). Finally, both government and police... All accomplices to native Brazilian indians extinction.

Well, their enemies are many. Indirectly, they are even more copious... society, included! - after all, silence implies consent. Nevertheless, a huge repercussion took place on social networking in the last days. Even though just online (and so late!)... It's something!

Tired of fighting for the right of living in their own land, the entire Brazilian tribe Guarani-kaiowa (a community of 50 men, 50 women and 70 children) decided to commit mass suicide. It's pitful and regrettable the incompetence of  Stade towards their cause.

A genocide has happened since the discovery - many murders, besides living waiver, from Indians. It's not difficult to understand their intends once we give their concept of live its rightful relevance. Thus, we will understand all complexity and difficulty of their Teko Porã (welfare) nowadays. Furthermore, grasping their reasons, we'll learn more about word, the true and soul based on it (for them, Ñe'ẽ - soul word; for us, something worthless, once we are used to not keep promises). 

So, considering their letter announcing their extermination, we must not wait another thing by them - unless Brazilian powers don't let the worst achieve... Hellooooo! Somebody there?!

Sincerely, for me (from the bottom of my heart), the life of these 170 persons is more significative and also important than the ones of our 531 federal deputies or even of the hundreds owners of farms located in Mato Grosso do Sul. Or all them together!

Read more about Indigenous Peoples in Brazil,  and the threat. 
(an integral text, in Portuguese, here)

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To get to know some related noted cases:

Marçal de Souza Tupã-Y (1920 -1983)

Chico Mendes (1944 - 1988)

Galdino Jesus dos Santos (1952 - 1997) 

Dorothy Stang (1931 - 2005)

on the board

Only one year together. So many things to celebrate, though.

A whole life changed, a big decision made. Choise... opportunity.

What is more, we have a promising future ahead of us. Everything which has passed, strengthen what is coming.

Nothing happens by chance.
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For this special moment, a good song by Cícero.

everything is possible

Nothing could be stronger than our dreams.

We must attempt. It's never too late to start life over, differently, in a good  way.

Hey ho, let's go! I believe, and help you.

(what about you?!)

___________________________________________________________ 

Any effort, every little step is very important to reach anything we want. However, it will always have temptations on the way - (bad) past things that are supposed to remain there... away.

How unbeatalbe will us let them be as to disturb and hinder us to achieve it? Will them trip us, deviating us completely from our goals?

We can NOT forget we are not alone. People can help, strengthen together our foible.  

We must be patients, married. Love is crucial, reinforce. 

Everything counts. Nevertheless, it's always a personal decision. 

It's all about choices, (good)will(power).

better choice

Sticks and stones
may break my bones
but names
will never hurt me!

I'm rubber
and you're glue
Whatever you say bounces off me
but it sticks on you!

baby phase

Well, ten years ago were the graduation ceremonies and memorable parties the major reason to celebrate; nowadays, alternatively, has occurred a baby boom in my friends circle - fact which deserves sublime happiness. On the other hand, it worries me.

Of course in our (early) twenties, many of us (began to have or) had children. However, nowadays, in (almost) thirties (or a little more yet), that situation makes me wonder myself if I’m delayed  about that, or, rather: if it will happen to me - and when.

Time runs… Some ‘nephews’ (sons of my generation people) are turning 10 this year! Many closer friends already have two kids inclusively! Other have been pregnant or have given birth recently... I reckon it hasn’t been the best time to live that - and I would regret if I had already had one, I admit.

Looking through the biological point of view, within the next years I must decide if I want to form a family, or not. Then, it will be my turn to become mother… and I hope that with a good husband by my side to take care of me and my offspring (after all, storks only bring us the babies, don't make them!).

point of forking

One day, some really important decisions must be made. I know it is a hard process. However it is necessary so as to reach your goals as intended. There will be losses, of course. Many things to leave behind... Everyone has his own route to go through, though.

Right now, on the bifurcation, I’m just fearing about the choice to be made... If I will hit the jackpot. I hope so…

red bull effect

Involved with so many children. I've noticed that as soon as  I could imagine it would be broached the way to conduce them for freedom. Well, the liberty will happen independently  of parents and their will.

It's natural - mainly when dealing with kids from ten to twelve years old. Clearly, they are growing up... maturing. In my opinion, it is a special moment to be lived with responsibility.

"You became responsible, forever, for what you have tamed" - this Saint-Exupéry’s speech illustrates quite fine how huge is this step for infants. That is to say children acquired their own rights conscious of all duty it means.

Puberty (in this case, more than Red Bull) gives them wings. I’m pretty sure that when it is conquered day by day, with advices of mothers or fathers (or both), probably their future will be easier, with no unlooked for situations nor very unwelcome surprises which can bring some trouble along.

As far as I’m concerned everybody should give them, as homeopathy, periodical doses of independence until they become teenagers. On the contrary, problems of bad administration with freedom can show up.

So, it is up to you leave them do some activities alone in order to practicing for the real life, as a test drive of that. So, this is the best opportunity to attempt before make things wrong indeed.

In other words, this period is a blooming of those roses. Too much energy is necessary to reach and get along with them.

aiming so far

Bad news… I received a bomb a couple years ago, which has changed my way, my routine. Not my objectives, though - fortunately.

I believe that nothing happens at random. Everything has a reason to be. Nevertheless, I haven’t found that yet.

I’ve felt lost, homeless - although I have my place besides knowing where I’m going to: keep moving on to, finally, move out, going for my dream.

About one year ago, I never thought it would be possible. It’s incredible how destiny works… Nowadays I have asked myself why I haven’t done it before!

I’m prepared to face all challenges related, setting my future.

my best friend's wedding

He would give me on my 30th year birthday a wedding ring, he would be my best partner for every event I could go, he would plan our abroad vacation travel with our children for the end of the year… he could be everything ‘best’ in the world… however, he is not my husband because I simply don’t love him (not as "MY" man). We can’t ordering our feelings to choose somebody to like him. It happens independently of our will.

Randiness is something we don’t control. It is impossible to ask ourselves “please, want him (or her)!” - further: right now! It doesn’t work like that… It simply “plim” - as I’m used to say… Moreover, this ‘prince’ guy, who I’m going to want with me will appear complete for me soon, without “nevertheless(es)” - in the same way he’ll be more than my best friend… as he is for his wife - the fortunate woman that chose him (or he chose her… whatever! They are perfect for each other).

I’m full of satisfaction with myself since I’m not jealous, or have no envy about her. I’m not this kind of possessive friend that doesn’t want his happiness, as a result of my negative decision to became involved. On the contrary, I’ve supported his new relationships, his affairs and now, his marriage. I want all the best for them. After all, I like her too. I was there when he met her and I hoped further for them…

It is something I’m awaiting that he (and also she) wish for me as well… knowing someone special to pass the rest of our lives, constitute a family, live a beautiful love long-lasting story, besides keep them company at meetings, travels... any kind of couple's programming.

the movie

While I was putting the title of this post, I remembered the movie of the same name… Julia Roberts, a successful almost 30-years journalist, was invited for this 3-days happening wedding, occasion when her best friend is going to become a married man. At this moment she realized she loves him, only owing to the sensation of loss. Human being is a [fuc*!] selfish animal.

At the end, even with all tries, he decided for Cameron Diaz (NOT BAD…) and they lived happily ever after.

later... when?

It seems the ending of the year, when everything we haven’t already done , will be transferred for the next one! The context is another, though. Then, I really don‘t know if it will make any sense everything left behind.

Interesting: some things are only important according the place (and the time) it is occurring. Well, I hope from now acquire many others (to everything be part of the past….).

New resolutions, please!

bunny honey

I’m really excited about what is awaited for the Chinese year of the rabbit. I sincerely hope that 2011 will be a great period...

Sex, love, work, studies, huge changes, important resolutions... everything is possible with so many possibilities. 

Let’s enjoy any special time which will come!

just be good

So… changes are necessary.

It has been a while since I should had started… But, now, is my right moment (each one has yours). 

The fact is that, at any given time, we MUST choose what we want and go straight-ahead to make our dreams come true – nobody else is going to do it for us.

It's up to us this decision. It’s a challenge. After all, everything has its price. Effort is essential. And every blessed day is important in the direction of this way, step by step. Persistence and perseverence always!

Every now and then I wonder if I am disappointing myself just when I can't reach long-awaited scores. Then, to get closer to my goal, I decided I’m moving on. Every why has a wherefore.

*Finally, I really don’t avoid Portughese, EVEN. Could be Spanish if the world was different, or also French… and, maybe, in the future, will be another language – perhaps Chinese. Why not?

The world is round.

já vai tarde!

Maria Fernanda, uma grande amiga minha, já me disse algumas vezes (para eu NUNCA mais esquecer), que, às vezes, temos que dar graças a Deus por certas coisas que ele NÃO nos dá. Penso nisso direto (tanto, que a mula já mugiu a respeito outras vezes).

Por mais que queiramos algo, que o desejo seja forte, talvez não seja para acontecer, para ser “nosso” o que almejamos. O porquê saberemos depois, com o tempo – ele, que responde a maior parte de nossas perguntas na hora certa.

Houve cortes na minha vida este ano que passou: trabalho, amor, amizade, saúde, paz. Alguns eram previstos, outros previsíveis, mas teve os que eu não esperava e tampouco pretendia  ter. Analisando, mal tive escolha ou decidi sobre os fatos. 

Por que? – esse foi um questionamento recorrente e intenso em alguns momentos. A falta de um esclarecimento me levou pra baixo, fez-me desanimar, enfraquecendo-me. A possibilidade dar mais errado, assustava-me, mas "Já passou!", penso eu, aliviada.

Apesar de difícil, denso e pesado, não posso só reclamar de 2010. Tive Oportunidades marcantes, que, inevitavelmente, fizeram-me refletir sobre quem sou, o que busco, aonde vou e quero chegar.

Minha força foi medida nesse período; minha capacidade e limites, testados. E estou agora aqui, erguida, vendo um novo ciclo começar (e não ponho aqui o ‘re’ antes do verbo porque 2011 será diferente!).

Esse é o lado bom: a experiência que fica. Para tudo o que vier daqui por diante,  estarei preparada!  E não mudei totalmente ainda, o melhor ficou para “depois” (cenas dos próximos capítulos nos 364 dias a seguir). Aguardem.