more than words

“Melhor que o livro em si, são as suas dedicatórias” - Yes, I hit the nail on the head! Wow... Actually, I already knew that… ('cause I think the same way!) So...

On the first page, something like that:

Ik ben eindelijk iemand tegen gekomen voor wie dat boek echt logisch is. Vertel me later hoe de reis was! Liefs.

It’s just my (best) way to say ‘Thank you’, and the rest... well, is everything that I have taken with me, and is still here… (I always knew that I will feel something special) This kind of sentiment is difficult to change inside us, besides, it just happens - "unintentionally" and with "no" reason and intention to be bad, or harmful for anybody!

About the book (and not the affection), it is true: for the first time in my life I gave it for the correct person. Nevertheless, it was (better: IS!) more than a simple (another "Budhist") gift…

I believe that both this philosophy and the proposed inquiry of values come in a good occasion, aswell the challenge of being zen(ner) is wonderful - and necessary, inclusively! A reflection about our lives, how we are conducting it by our acts and thoughts is vital! Moreover, it also helps us to be a better person.

It was just a friendly kindness, but could be (even) more… maybe a Thai massage, with whole feminine vanity and everything else! At any rate, I hope it works! After all, I’m constant.

At the right time, I will write about this incredible trip. Await!

*(So do I… written words - in the old school way of course ;)

desires, memories and melancholy

I would like to go upstairs and see all the city (or a large part of) through its roofs. I always think about that, the landscape and thoughts by this point of view… the outlooks.  It's a possibility to get a breath of fresh air (and equally old and historical). “Telhados de Paris”, a Nei Lisboa’s song outlines some idea about that. 

So, when I saw the ‘Blue Roofs’, a Picasso’s painting, in Van Gogh Museum (Picasso in Paris 1900-1907 exhibition – until May there), this intention was brought to the light, more than ever. It results in a fantasy... It's a real illusion, only mine. When I was there, in Paris, last year, I simply didn't realize that I could put into practice this dream. However I asked for, in Amsterdam (in vain...) Silly girl...

                                                          

(nem tudo azul)

Sometimes, the unpreparedness leads us to this way… Changing the subject, I remembered, both seeing that shadowy images from his melancholy Blue Period and reading about its stories, the Broadway musical ‘Spring Awakening’, an rock adaptation of the controversial 1891 German play of the same title.

Carlos Casagemas, a Spanish painter aswell, moved to Paris in the same period of his friend, Picasso. In 1901, he killed himself with a shot in the head when he was only 21 years old as a consequence of an unanswered love. This unsuccessful affair drove him crazy (literally).

Notably, the beginning of 18th century was distinguished by this youth behavior. Their immaturity gave rise to some unhappiness which brought about these damages to the society of that period. In the teen ages being as an infant and after that, immediately becoming a mister… with all responsabilities and the burden of it on their back. It used to be too severe for everyone.

                                                         

Museums – a cultural trip around important subjects of our History. I really appreciate it!

Picasso in Paris 1900-1907 exhibition

18 February - 29 May 2011

Van Gogh Museum

Museumplein - Paulus Potterstraat 7 

Daily from 10am to 6pm

Adults: € 14
0-17 years: free (a valid ID may be requested)

*My tip is going on Friday Nights – in these occasions the museum in open until 10pm.

Besides the free guided tours around the exhibition (and also for the permanent one - unlosable!) – in English and Dutch, there is always something special going on: lounge chairs, video projections, live music, DJs and a bar to relax and enjoy it even more (better if in a special company - of course!).

graced

I’m blessed.

In fact, I always knew that it will snow!

For me, it is a kind of gift - special one.

Despite of being pretty cold and the slipping floor makes me almost miss one’s footing, I simply don’t care. I’m amazed.

It’s a marvellous grace.

not completely

In spite of being frustrated because I haven’t saw the lakes totally frozen (and still haven't ice skated on them, inclusively!), I’m quite satisfied. I have felt in these last days the nature power through its transformation of this season and its preparation for the next one.

It’s a magic process.

I’m sure that will be integrally done next time - not only about that... At last, it's something more complexed than the ducks habitat - unfortunately, did by halves yet.

Next cicle (time/round): I'm ready for it!

holy grazing TV

I’m going to write this post in Portuguese due to my indignation and frustration.

Eu venho lá do Brasil para chegar aqui na Europa e assistir TV na minha língua? Na boa, preferia estar treinando o meu inglês, vendo a programação internacional - afinal, são uns 300 canais! Mas não… Dia e noite é só sermão de pastor, programas de baixa qualidade (infelizmente, porque dá para ver que o investimento é grande) e produtos de uma imprensa marrom: SÓ DESGRAÇA!

Essa é a Record Internacional - presente fulltime na minha vida atual.

Reclamo MUITO enquanto assisto! Chego a ser chata, admito. Mas é impossível ser diferente diante o que vejo. Não estudei para ficar vendo merda. Não consigo. Fico triste em vivenciar uma substimação e degradação da capacidade intelectual do público espectador brasileiro que mora no exterior. E isso nada tem a ver com crenças religiosas.

Poderia ser melhor (vi que posso inclusive trabalhar para eles sem problemas algum! Nada do que eles fazem é estranho ou difícil a mim), mas não é. Estando for a, o quadro fica ainda pior porque o nível das propagandas e dos programas gringos, por exemplo, é infinitamente superior ao nosso. Tenho tentado subverter o “sistema” instaurado onde eu moro, para ver uma programação digna.

Mas o pior: eles gostam! - sem se questionar sobre o que assistem diariamente.

A mula ruge… os burros, não (forte, mas é verdade!).

¡olè!

Josep Guardiola - my new excuse (ops! REASON) to watch the Barça games from now on.

Stupid! I found with almost one month delayed the best place for a Happy Hour on Wednesday... (*Dank je wel, Rafatje!)

As of now, my best programming for these nights will be going to a European typical Pub to watch the games of Champions League on television. Actually, doesn’t matter the teams which are be playing. Whichever game it will be passing on TV, will be interesting due to the masculine  (en mooi) audience.

Perfect: I like both football and going out, as well as drink some beer and see people… but mainly to KNOW the new ones. It will be a good opportunity to make (boy)friends - Spanish, English, Italian, and why not also Dutch? I’m not xenophobic at all…  

no-hair-heads driving me crazy

I should be honest… Here, in Europe, most part of guys that attract me is bald.

Nothing against the blond hair of who has it… nor the rood ones (Indeed, I like it!. However, it has just happened often!). I’ve met lots of Bens and Bruces… and now, I discovered him: Guardiola, my bald momentary icon - who used to be brunette ,  contradicting my european statistics - but I simply don't care about that!

¡olè! 

strict european way of life

Next month, or in a week’s time - It is when Dutch people can see you again and book a meeting, dinner, to have a drink or whatever! From now until their schedule has finished (all appointments booked before this exact moment), it wont be possible being included in their lives.

Perhaps this happens because they were not awaiting for this new situation. However, if today their programming was looking for it (dating someone, for example), probably they’ll put you as a priority in their agenda. A typical rational European behaviour…

It’s so strange for us, latins, who, alternatively, when meet somebody (special) change the plans ever since. As soon as possible, we are going to invite this person to take part of our lives’ programming - if be worthwhile, of course! Ah, if it were as simple as that with them too... I think they may be happier, to be astounded more naturally and could laugh a whole lot more of life's surprisings, or, at least, take things easy (to others - more flexible, like me...)!

Finally, we are REALLY more easygoing… not only this, but also emotional (then, I admit that I enjoy this our way of being). I swear that I wont to fuck only on the day set, or have to schedule (at least) 'this'! [PLEASE...!] I just want to change my mind according to the events, people and anything else that happens in my life (besides someone who thinks on his feet and  juggles to be with me, by my side).

winter environment

- Look there! What are those black points on the water?

“Ducks!”, he answered me smiling… So I looked at them again, very impressed by their facility in stay at the same place, fluctuating, even with the gale which had wind-bounded us, letting everybody when in the wind‘s eyes almost without can walk many times during the better part of a day (and night).

Indeed, I could never imagine that I would find many animals so close where I’m living… I always thought that in Europe everything related to nature (the weather and its creatures inclusively!) were a little grey and dead… Well, I was completely wrong!

Everyday, when I go out home I see on the grassy spaces between the buildings in my neighbourhood some small groups of hares. Furthermore, uncountable species of ducks... green, black and white ones, besides other waterfowls - in most part of them, are adorning the cold landscape. 

In contrast of many cockroachs, rats, pigeons and bats that I was used to find near my house in Rio, here, in Amsterdam, I've seen flights of sea-gulls, storks, herons, gooses, and also flocks of tropical cocotas. Increadible! - I'm really surprised about that in particular due to the adverse weather... 

(*Ok, I know that there are many species of beautiful animals inhabiting Rio. However, in Laranjeiras is not common see crocodiles, fishs, many monkeys and birds! In different places, maybe you can meet them easily, but not there...)

as teddy-bears

Another type of animal we can meet often here, in the North Europe, is a kind of domestic bear. Actually, this low-temperature season usually results in people's behaviour changes (we practically became it!) - almost hibernating... sleeping and eating a lot (besides sometimes wearing heavy furry clothes). As the teddy ones, we rest on the bed most part of time (that we can!).

On the other hand, there is always someone 'bearlike', who is changed into a gruff person as a consequence of having its heart freezed - of course, this last one, isn’t my case INDEED.

too bad to be true

Could be the saints people from the evil?

Well, it’s a theory. Actually, nothing is ‘IMPOSSIBLE’… and (as someone that I know used to say…) nothing is also too extreme! However, I (and it’s my OWN opinion) don’t think so.

Perhaps It could be something cultural for me,more than religious itself. My family always worship them. I grew up going to different churches and believing that they can help us. In particular, Anthony Saint, whose name my uncles have as their second names.

Secondly, it is Saint Teresa, and the 'Terezinha' of my mother isn’t at random. It used to be a Conti’s tradition. Fortunately, my mother decided to finish with this custom. Thus, me and my sister were free of this interesting composition in our names.

Moreover, I’ve had lots of proofs that they are good - or were… when they lived - doesn’t matter! I believe that since they have done goodness around the world, they were God’s agents sent to be here, with us, proclaiming His words.

Since they used to live in accordance with it, I don’t believe they could be bad… Ok, they were not as Jesus was, but were also important with their graces. The devil simply doesn’t have all this power and good will. For sure, his envoys are others…

the bright side of everything

Sunny days - I can use only one of my hands to count them with my fingers… Even so, it is going to be left over!

Now I begin to understand the depression of North European people, who feels only few times not only the sun energy, but also the power of the its rays.

I admit that I usually try to chose the sunny walkside to go on the dutch kanaals. It’s important for me receive a little of this to get some energy, at least. Habituated with it, Brazilians (like me) miss the usual sunshowers on the beach. 

Probably, the cold mood of these people might change when is summer and the wheater is warmer... I guess.

Another curious (and tiring) matter is that the days are very short here. Only From 8 to 5pm is bright day - when the sun appears, of course. As a consequence, 3pm is already (unfortunately) the end of the afternoon!

Many business are closed (or ‘gesloten’ - as could be seen when someone tries to go somewhere after 17h) so early. It is different for us, who in Brazil are used to find many places open until 20h, or later - until the last costumer.

This is the European way of life: relaxing time after lunch, shops, drugstores and supermarkets closed at 6 pm (or five minutes before, just to guarantee no one working more than is agreed!). Fair!

a good market

Euro Shopper - my new dutch friend!

It’s a special Albert Keijn brand which sales more for less… by low prices - actually, the best ones. Similar to Qualitá, in Rio, that belongs to Pão de Açúcar Group, is as well as cheaper than the others. 

Now, although I just moved from Rio to Amsterdam, my household skills remain the same. Thus, I am still used  to go to the supermarket during the week, or on the weekends, to buy everything necessary to live here. As I’m not rich (unfortunately), I’m often looking for the best bargains in Albert Heijn, Lidl, Dirk, and in drugstores too, such as Kruidvat, Etos… or wherever!

Then, I always leave there singing, satisfied for paying 'banana's price' (the Brazilians, of course!).

mona

(and ‘Lisa’ - with Portuguese meaning).

A courageous and beautiful Iranian - my “dutch” muse.

I confess I was admired at first glance. I enjoyed to know her chiefly in reason of she was not used to wear the hijab. Anything else would be unsuccessfully as so to attract me.

Her long and black hair expressed and reflected as weel all her femininity. Seeing that, I wondered myself about which motives were involved, not hidden under their kerchief anymore.

not disguised

Since I’m a leftist, I’ve been contrary of any social imposition form. Any kind of oppressiveness upsets me. With ‘gender’ it won't be different... even in another culture.

My first question to her when I knew where she was born was not about women's situation there: Did you are there during the manifestations against Ahmadinejad last year? Yes, she was in Tehran.

Not satisfied, a second: It was exactly as they have shown on television? Worse - she said, telling me more about how cruel it was. Then, we became friends.

Probably, nobody there was curious (as me) to get to know more about that.

glide dream

It’s a silly situation, but I’ve always dreamed with the day I would ice skating outdoor. Though, it hasn’t been on a natural ring yet - on some frozen canal of Amsterdam (something I will someday!).

Since I was a child, I’ve enjoyed to practically fluctuate on ice, while my thoughts go so far, quicker than my legs… Terrific! I’m loving it. Thanks Rafa, for this special night moment. 

Another magic one…

keep walking

Each day having to choose a different way to go ahead, or turning corners… It’s delicious explore new streets, cross over bridges - be it walking, riding a bike, by tram or boat... whatever! Come what may, in any case, being in Amsterdam, is a terrific experience.

One thing that inspires me while living here (mainly due to the distance from the “suburb” to downtown - more than 5km!) is discover the city, every little detail of that.  I've walked astonished at the circumstances... as if I could find my happiness everywhere!

I'm sure I could indeed! It's only a mere matter of time...

free to go wherever I want

Here, I feel myself free to walk around without any fear - even at night, with a bicycle or any expensive stuff in my possession. Not even the freezing weather dishearten me to go far outside… For me, it’s some kind of ‘fable’ the fact that in Holland they use clogs (wood shoes, somewhat heavy), which could make things worse for them. They don't, though.         

merci (or à mercê?)

Well, doesn’t matter! I prefer to do the right thing.    

I’m like that: clear, transparent - couldn’t be different. I always prefer do EVERYTHING in the best way for everyone, the fairer… Sometimes, it’s not good for me, though. I’ve been suffering the consequences of choosing this truthful way. 

I hope this time can be the opposite (It is not possible that I will NEVER be rewarded for my correct acts…!).

Sometimes I wonder myself about that... Whether I am or not in the best way - for me, not for others. I am thinking over again to be more introspective, to listening more than talk. Many simply don't deserve to know the truth. They are not thanked (and prepared) for it.